Keeping the “Love” alive
I have read so many things about introducing a new baby to your toddler, how your partner can support you during pregnancy, even how to introduce a new baby to your dog but I never see much about bringing a baby into your relationship.
Now I am definitely no relationship expert but I do feel when a baby makes 3, 3 can become a crowd.
Not to mention 4,5,6 or more.
I remember when I was pregnant with Olivia, one of the tradesman working on our house said “Oh your pregnant, congratulations”.
“Now I know your going to and probably have already received a lot of advice”(geez that’s and understatement and a half!!) but please promise me you’ll do one thing?”
“Don’t forget your husband!!” he said.
I didn’t want to go into it cause he was quiet emotional, not crying just upset. So I assumed he must’ve been going through a separation but it made me think.
It is really sad to see so many young families separated. Obviously there many reasons why people split up but I do think kids can make or break a couple. Having a baby is a 24-7 job so it’s only natural that something’s got to give.
When a little person comes into your life it is so easy to forget how it all came about. I’m not going to talk about the birds and the bees and when a man loves a women the things they do etc etc but I am going to say “Keep the love alive”.
I’ve spoken to a couple of friends about this recently both with young families. One of my friends is recently separated with two kids and another asked me how JB and I stay so in love? We are not a PDA (Public Display of Affection) type couple but we do work on us constantly.
With him traveling often and 2 young kids it is hard to find time together. These are sort of, I guess rules we try to follow
1. NO kids sleeping in the bed – (unless of course they are sick. If I have to get up with one I will often take them in the spare room or settle them back in their room). I will probably get a lot of comments for this one but this is my opinion.
2.Routine – I have the kids fed, bathed, Jack asleep and Liv playing in the toy room or watching TV by 630-7pm. This way JB and I can sit down together and have dinner with no TV and no kids.
3 Date night – Now JB has different ideas at times about this, he thinks grocery shopping is a date. I can assure you it’s only because he is so in love with food, I hate it grocery shopping that is.
We try to do this fortnightly but with his schedule it does often push out to monthly. We are fortunate enough that we have recently moved close to my family, so date night is easier to find a babysitter. If you don’t have family around or a baby sitter you can always put the kids in bed, hire a movie, get some popcorn and chocolate and make the effort to spend time together.
4 Talking – I know this sounds so cliche but it’s so true. This is something we have had to work on, those of you who know JB know he’s not really the emotional type. He is very loving, caring and supportive but talking about feelings is not his strong point.
Just talk about each others days and try to have a conversation that doesn’t revolve around the kids. It can be tough because some days when he gets home I am like ” please take her before I lose my shit”. So it can be hard not to whinge about your day. Olivia is our busy, challenging and head strong little darling (age 3 is really tough!!) Anyways that’s an entirely different story which I promise I will post. “Does my child have ADD?”
5 Arguments – And I NEVER go to bed without a argument or disagreement resolved. You don’t know what will happen tomorrow. (This was added from a comment below, thanks to Brittany)
6 “Check yourself” before saying goodbye or hello. (So many times I regret my husband coming home from work and I was in a bad mood because our precious daughter had been quite challenging for most of the day. This comment was written by Nicole Elswyk)
7. Don’t forget your boyfriend/partner/husband!! –
Your kids need love but so do they and remember how they were created in the beginning, now I’ve given you a visual he he he.
Off you go and give each other some lovin! Xx
PS If you have any helpful things that you think I should add like Brittany and Nicole, please feel free to contact me.
The more ideas and ways to help the better!!!
We all need a kick up the butt sometimes xx